Despite the sight of rich red geraniums flowering on my kitchen windowsill, the fresh, strong sunshine and the delicious cup of coffee at hand, I am grumpy.
Pourquoi?
Looking through my tweets this morning, I saw an anouncement from a famous bookshop part of which ran: “…is on it’s way for review.” My teeth couldn’t grind hard enough, the anguished sob couldn’t exit my mouth fast enough.
Let’s get this straight: “it’s” is short for “it is”. The apostrophe substitutes for missing letters. Other examples include don’t, can’t, they’re, we’re, isn’t.
So far, so easy.
I know it sounds the same, but “its” shows that something belongs to something else (We used to call this the genetive case, but that knowledge has faded away, unless you study Latin or German). So, two examples are “The cat sat on its mat” and “The burger came with its own portion of fries”.
Tip: If you can substitute his or her, even if it sounds a tad weird, then this “its/it’s” should be apostrophe-free.
The saddest thing is that the mis-use came from a bookshop.
Okay, I’m going to stop now and drink my coffee; it’s getting cold sitting there on its mat.
Please comment – I love comments – but don’t get me started on “your and “you’re”…
P.S. Said shop has acknowledged (and with a 🙂 )
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When you begin a new piece of writing, be it article, short story, press release or a 100,000 word novel, you start off with ideas, insights, energy which can sustain you to the end. Sometimes the oomph fades part-way through. Sometimes you start with a dragging reluctance because you have a deadline, a target or open mic at your group tonight. Or maybe it’s something you’re soldiering on with, snatching bits of time in a busy day, and feeling uninspired.
You read back what you’ve written. It’s codswallop.
Collins English Dictionary gives a succinct definition:
codswallop n.
Brit slang nonsense [of unknown origin]
According to Merriam Webstar online, synomyms of codswallop include: applesauce [slang], balderdash, baloney (also boloney), beans, bilge, blah (also blah-blah), blarney, blather, blatherskite, blither, bosh, bull [slang], bunk, bunkum (or buncombe), claptrap, nonsense [British], crapola [slang], crock, drivel, drool, fiddle, fiddle-faddle, fiddlesticks, flannel [British], flapdoodle, folderol (also falderal), folly, foolishness, fudge, garbage, guff, hogwash, hokeypokey, hokum, hoodoo, hooey, horsefeathers [slang], humbug, humbuggery, jazz, malarkey (also malarky), moonshine, muck, nerts [slang], nuts, piffle, poppycock, punk, rot, rubbish, senselessness, silliness, slush, stupidity, taradiddle (or tarradiddle), tommyrot, tosh, trash, trumpery, twaddle
But is it?
No, it’s a first draft, an outpouring full of your ideas, plot, passion. It’s meant to be raw and rough. That’s what editing is for – to polish, tighten and temper that first draft.
So next time you sigh dejectedly at what you’ve written, don’t feel badly. Swap to your slash and burn editor personality and polish it up to a sparkling gem.
You’ll find original codswallop has transmogrified into shining treasure.
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Okay, you’ve done your first draft, you’ve edited it, your aunt Mabel who taught English has checked it, your mate Bev says ‘It’s great!’. You’ve left it for a few weeks, come back, tightened the manuscript, checked for shockers and you’ve even written your synopsis. You’re on the starting blocks for publication, fame and fortune(!).
But….
A tiny nagging doubt is furkling around in between the two halves of your brain. No, it can’t be better, can it? Yours is better written than loads of books you’ve read (And you have been reading a lot of books in your genre/field, haven’t you?). But is it good enough?
I learnt a depressing statistic the other day from Nicola Morgan at Pen2Publication: the average reader buys only 6 books a year. So why should yours be amongst those six?
Hmm. Perhaps you’d better get a professional opinion on the quality of your book and whether it’s publishable before you start submitting to those important gatekeepers: the literary agents. Does your novel have PTQ (Page turning quality)? Are the pace and structure right? Are you characters appealing and your voice original and enticing? Is it a genre that sells? Will it appeal to a broad mass of people? Will it be likely to be placed where the public can buy it?
I’m a mere tyro, but I know experienced, tough experts who can help answer these questions. But first you must do your research, find out the basics of getting published and work out exactly what help you need. For starters, have a look at How Publishing Really Works blogger Jane Smith’s notes from her recent talk ‘The Writing Business’ at the Edinburgh Literary Festival. Nicola Morgan’s blog is bracing, refreshing and a source of gold nuggets (metaphorically speaking!). And I hope you read Carole Blake’s From Pitch to Publication while you were still writing your first draft.
Most importantly, you must be ready to accept what they say….
Expertise is out there, some better than others: I have only listed those sources I have found particularly helpful. You have to find the one you feel will help you most. But using the wisdom and experience of such experts not only saves you many a pratfall, but will probably save you time, money and heartache.
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